On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
