"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
