The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
