i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
