are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
