That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i wish my penis had a tongue
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
