Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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