In the future we'll all be gay
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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