she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
