we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
