dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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