he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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