dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
