oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
