Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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