Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
