I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
