doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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