Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
