her vagine was all disorganized.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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