there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
