she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
