WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize