I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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