i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
