There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
