and you said cock pushups were impossible
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
tell me about the eggs
Randomize