Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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