I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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