i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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