I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
