remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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