Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i dont even know how to be here
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
