I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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