So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
