Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
