I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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