please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
