Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
