We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
