We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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