Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
