Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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