Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
