i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
