Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
