Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i dont even know how to be here
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
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