Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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