What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
