Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
