That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize