so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
