i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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