apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
