i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
