Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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