We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
