Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
