Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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