Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
