oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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