Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize