I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
