my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
