when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
