I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
