What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
