Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
