i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
